Ready to Quit

This morning, I was ready to quit this whole process. Let me explain........last night, we received an email from our Agency Social Worker and the main point of the email was that we are no closer to our referral than we've ever been. We could still be waiting for months. And, there doesn't seem to be any definite reasons or answers as to why. I was so disappointed, so frustrated and so confused. I have believed for so long that God has called us to this adoption - and I have been getting so angry because I feel that we are trying to follow God's call and He doesn't seem to be answering. Why would He call us to this if it seems like it will never happen? Why, when we are trying to be obedient, does there seem to be this wait that no one ever saw coming? Last night, we went to bed weary and worn, pleading to God in our prayers together for some sort of explanation. We awoke this morning and tried to talk a bit about what God might be up to. And, I, well, I was so weary and torn, that I told Dave that I just didn't know if I could continue. The lows of the disappointing times just keep seeming to get lower. And, have I mentioned that I am weary and tired? And, that sometimes I just cry - a lot. I left for work still crying and with puffy eyes from the tears of last night. I know, I know.....you can all tell me that it will be worth it, there is a reason, God has a plan, all "those answers". But, sometimes you can't give any answers that make any sense or bring comfort when it just hurts deeply and the ache in your heart can't be explained.

Then, shortly after I got to work, Dave called. An envelope had been left for us and this is what it said:

"My dearest children, I have spoken and said: "Because of My great love you are not consumed, for My compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is My faithfulness. Remember, I am your portion; therefore wait for Me. I am good to those whose hope is in Me, to the one who seeks Me".

You have sought Me, hoped in Me, waited for Me and remembered Me - I have not forgotten My promise to you. The time is near for My promise to be fulfilled; do not lose heart. You faithfulness has brought Me great joy! My faithfulness will do the same for you. Your children are under My care and will soon be with you; until then, "be steadfast in Me and I will keep you in perfect peace".

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you and your children with loving kindness." Absolutely nothing will ever separate you from My love - you are Mine and I am yours. Thank you for waiting on Me.

With all my love and through my servants - Your Heavenly Father"

So, now there were more tears as Dave read me this letter. We have no idea who God used to write it, but we are so very grateful to whoever it was. It was what my heart and soul needed - a reminder to not give up, but to keep on waiting. The words were good medicine to my hurting soul. This was God telling me that I can't Quit - I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking this journey - even on the days when it feels like the journey has stopped.

If you are responsible for leaving this very special envelope - Thank you for allowing God to use you - you have no idea what an impact you have made!

To God Be the Glory - always!