The most wonderful time of the year!

It's the most wonderful time of the year......if you can stay on top of the to do list, not get stressed out, not spend too much money and keep all the Christmas time schedules straight.  Thankfully, we have scaled back in many of those areas in recent years and our Christmas seasons seem to get simpler and more wonderful each year.  Of course, the childlike wonder of having a 2 1/2 year old in the house again helps also - Martha is fascinated by the Christmas lights, thinks that candy canes are the most wonderful thing in the world and finds the Baby Jesus everywhere and often starts to sing Happy Birthday Jesus.  Simply Christmas. Lessons for all of us through the eyes of a child.  Beauty.  Wonder.  Pure Joy.

Martha had the honor of being the flower girl in a wedding this past weekend.  She was asked by Anna's Young Life leader to be in her wedding. It was a beautiful wedding of two wonderful people who love Jesus and couldn't wait to start their lives together to serve Him.  Martha did great in her flower girl role, LOVED wearing her "pretty dress" and tore up the dance floor during the reception - she probably would've stayed and closed down the party if we had let her.  :-)  

Another thing that has simplified our Christmas this year is that we just haven't gotten to Christmas cards and have come to the conclusion that this year, it's okay.  So, through this blog, we want to wish you the joy and peace that only that Baby Jesus can bring and wish you God's blessings on your New Year.  We leave you also with two pictures of our family....the first one a picture which would be what you expect of us when you first get to know us......

And then, a picture of what we're really like after you get to know us a bit.......

Merry Christmas to all!

Caught Off Guard

The month of November is National Adoption Month.  It's a month where adoption is celebrated and the media, organizations and those touched by adoption try to help others understand some of the ins and outs of it all.  Sometimes all the sad, bad and horror stories are what comes to mind when thinking of adoption - but this month it's always a delight to see the many beautiful stories of lives changed - children, parents, families.  The Today Show is featuring adoption stories all week long this week, so this morning I remembered to tune in, just in time to catch the adoption story of the day.  It was a story about one of their regular contributors (Dr.Nancy Snyderman), her adopted daughter and the reunion with her birth mother. I really enjoyed watching the story but was Caught Off Guard by the emotions it brought up in me.  I was an absolute teary, running nose, blubbering mess!  I think about Martha's birth mom often still, but today I was overwhelmed by her sacrifice to Martha.  Absolutely overwhelmed.  She gained nothing by relinquishing Martha.  In fact, Martha might have been all she really had.  But, she wanted more for Martha and so she made the decision to have her adopted, so that she could have a different sort of life.  The rest of the day, I couldn't get her birth Mom off of my mind.  We met her when we traveled to Ethiopia on our first trip, but I quickly realized I didn't ask enough questions and since then have thought of so many more things I'd like to know and like to tell her too.  I still can't begin to imagine saying good-bye to my biological child and know that they were going a world away.  I wonder if she thinks of Martha often or if she tries to stay busy so she doesn't have to wonder if she's okay.  I believe my heart would break if that were me.  I don't think I will ever understand how she did it but I know I will be grateful for the rest of my life.  And totally overwhelmed at her amazing sacrifice.  To every birth Mom out there - THANK YOU.  And know that an adoptive Mom does not take you for granted.  We deeply, humbly and forever hold you in our hearts and pray that you know the blessing you have given.

As I looked at Martha today, I realized some of the things she has, that we take for granted.  A chance to get a flu shot this year.  A chance to have Tuberculosis medication before her latent diagnosis went active. A chance to wear clean clothes every day.  A chance to ask for her milk cup to be filled up.  A chance to be bathed in clean water.  A chance to have brothers and sisters who play with her.  A chance to have three full meals of a variety of food.  I still glance at her and can't believe she is here with us - from the other side of the world.  Only God could do that.  Again - absolutely overwhelmed.

This month is also "Operation Christmas Child" time.  Our family has been doing shoeboxes for OCC for years.  We find such joy in sending a box of small gifts to children all around the world.  It is but a small way to touch lives on the other side of the world and helps us remember that Christmas isn't about us.  If you aren't familiar with Operation Christmas Child - please google it and see how easy and fun it is to pack a shoebox!  And - if you need to drop off your shoebox, please let me know.  Our Church is collecting boxes until November 24.  And.......we have a goal of 300 boxes and we'd love to count your box in that!  My husband has agreed to have "OCC" shaved in the back of his head if CenterPoint Church collects 300 or more boxes - so c'mon contibute to the cause for kids and for his head shaving!  :-)

During this National Adoption Month, remember those Birth Parents whose sacrifices have blessed others in amazing ways.  And, pray for all those children around the world who still need a family......and pray for families to open their hearts to these children.  Thank you~

Unanswered Questions

In the last couple of weeks, there have been two questions directed to us a number of times. The first is "Have you heard about the Sabbatical yet?"  and the second is "What's going on with that little boy?" So, here are the answers, which of course, bring more questions......

First, the Sabbatical.......we found out this past Sunday that we did not get the grant. We knew we had a 50/50 chance at it, but we, along with some members from our Church, worked really hard on getting details, writing the narrative, praying, planning, doing research, etc.  Applying for this Grant was NOT a small project.  So, in addition to taking away some hopes and dreams, it felt like we wrote a major final research paper and got a great big "F" on it.  VERY frustrating.  We are still hoping that Dave (and the rest of us) will get some sort of Sabbatical next summer - we know that our spirits need one.   We know God is Sovereign and that His plans are always best - so we wait (a little impatiently) to see what else God might have in store for the summer of 2014.  We trust that He knows exactly what our family needs.  The other part, that to me is even more maddening, saddening and confusing about the Sabbatical leads to the other question....

"What's going on with that little boy?" (see Blog from June 13, 2013) We were emailed some pictures this past Friday by an adoptive Mom who was in Ethiopia to attend Court.  The pictures brought tears to my eyes!  He has grown some and his smile just lights up a room (at least in my opinion)  :-)  But, he is still not available for adoption - no reason given and the conversation was ended as quickly as it began between the adoptive Mom who sent the pictures and the person she asked in ET.  So, soon, that adoptive Mom will return for Embassy and take her two daughters home.....and he will again watch someone leave with a family.  And, soon, another family from our agency will go there and take their daughter home.....and he will again watch someone leave with a family.   Can you imagine being 5 years old (our guesstimate) and month after month watch your friends and buddies leave......with a FAMILY?  And, you continue to stay at an orphanage STUCK.  It seems wrong, IT IS wrong and I'm so frustrated that there doesn't seem anything immediate that we can do for him.  And, now that we did not receive the Sabbatical Grant, my hopes of seeing him again, trying to help, somehow do something for him - or at least spend lots of time loving on him next summer - are gone.  And, that is the hardest part of not getting the Grant for this Momma.  I still believe that God had that little guy climb into our hearts for some reason - and he's still there.  So, for now, I will keep praying for him and giving him and his future over to God - 'cuz he knows best.

 And, maybe God put him in my heart so that I could share his story with you......and if we keep sharing this story and praying for a different ending for him.......maybe someday there will be a new story and a FAMILY and lots and lots of Love for him.  Please help spread the story.......because every child deserves a family.  

Thank You~

A Heavy Brick

On our first trip to Ethiopia, there was a little boy in Martha's room that absolutely stole our hearts.  Some of you have even heard us talk about him. How cute he was, the oodles of personality he had and the sad fact that he didn't even have an official name.  All of the other kids in Martha's room were designated (had a family coming soon) but this little guy didn't at that point.  We were sure that when we returned for our second trip last summer he would be placed and have a plan to go somewhere.

But, on that second trip, we asked the orphanage staff if he had a family yet.  He didn't.  We didn't understand and gave him extra attention while we were there. He loved the extra time and attention.  He loved Martha - helping her where needed and giving her lots of kisses when we left with her.

This little boy stayed in our hearts and we inquired about him through our agency. (Yes - we know you're thinking we're crazy, and we probably are - but you don't know the power of connection and attachment and the way a child can get under your skin.  We dare you to open yourself to it - it's a frightening, exhilarating God sized ride).  They checked and were told that at that time he was not adoptable.  It was a very confusing answer, but we took it for what it seemed to be - the answer for us and for him.

Fast forward to this past Winter, when staff from our Agency went to Ethiopia.  The little guy was still there.  Agency staff realized it was the same boy and took a picture and sent it to us.  Our hearts.  Oh My. Agency staff felt deeply that this little guy needed a family.  Would we be interested still?  Head = we are crazy.  Heart = who knows what God is up to?  Answer = our Agency was told that he remains not adoptable

Neither we, nor our Agency understand this.  We have a little more information about him (that we don't want to share here)  but none of it explains why he is not available for a home and family.  What does this mean?  Most likely, that he will eventually age out and be on his own - most likely fending his way in the streets.  There doesn't seem to be any other plan or at least answers given for him.

Where does this leave us?  Confused.  Deeply confused.  We wrestled with all of this for a while and found we couldn't forget about him.  We decided, that as a couple, we would commit to 40 days of defined prayer for this little boy.  For his emotional and physical health, his protection, his future, that he would come to know Jesus.  That the plan God has for him would be known and that it would somehow include the unconditional love of a family - somewhere.  Anywhere.  We are praying about whether or not we should pay and have an investigation done to find out his story - which would then hopefully give him more of a future. Praying. Praying. Praying again.

Yesterday, at day 31, I was driving one of the kids somewhere, not really even thinking about this little guy. And, suddenly, I had this feeling on my chest - like someone was pushing a heavy brick on it.  I don't know how to describe it, but it was actually physically heavy somehow. It was powerful.  It was strong and deliberate. And, all I could see was the face of this boy.  And, then the tears started and I couldn't stop them.  I was so overwhelmed by this "outside" pressure upon me, I pulled over and called Dave.  We both prayed heavily for this boy.  We didn't know if he was suddenly in danger or had some wonderful happen to him, but we knew that we needed to pray - and PRAY BIG.  I have no way to describe what happened yesterday as anything but a God Thing, a Holy Spirit thing.  That there is still some reason why this boy captured our hearts - even if it is only to have someone praying for him.

Why do I share all this?  Because I believe in prayer and its power.  I believe it's time to share this and ask YOU to pray for him too.  I can't give you a name to pray for - because he doesn't really have one.  But, God knows who he is and will hear you knocking on heaven's door.  Please join us in that.  Please PRAY BIG for him and the millions of other children around the world who need someone to pray for them.  God is listening.  Thank You~

HOME one year!!

One year ago today, we got off a plane in Columbus, Ohio and tried not to run through the airport.  We were so eager to see family members there waiting for us and so eager for them to meet Martha!

It just doesn't seem possible that it is a full year later.  God has been so faithful to us. Dave & I have been going through day by day of our 2nd trip to Ethiopia this past week.  The memories are still very clear - sort of like our delivery room/first days in the hospital with the other kids.  Picking her up at the orphanage, the coffee ceremony with the staff there to say good-bye, the ride to the hotel when she feel asleep........all of it amazing.

 Martha rolled with everything those first days and now we are the ones who try to roll with her, or at least keep up with her!  She is smart, mischievous, busy, fast and very adventurous.  She loves all of her siblings and is always happy to see them when they get home.  She has learned the art of putting off her bedtime by saying "cuddle" every time we try to put her down to sleep.  I think we still feel like we missed all those cuddles of that first year of her life, so we often grant her wish and give her a few more minutes of "cuddle".  All of our worries about having a much younger child around the house quickly gave way and we are again used to toys all over the floor and diaper changes.  It has all felt very natural.  Martha has grown about 7 inches since she came home and went from having no teeth to now having 13 of them.  She still continues in speech therapy, but is making continued progress.  She is a pretty good eater and loves to drink her milk.  She shows some healthy attachment to us and we are deeply grateful for that.

We know that Martha may still have difficult days ahead.  We know that any child of adoption can have identity issues, later attachment issues, etc- some of those in the early days of elementary, some in those teenage years, and some even later.  We pray that if those issues do surface, that they are minor for her - and for now, we just keep praising God and asking for Him to bless her and prepare her for whatever comes  in her life.

Ethiopia still burns in our hearts - and the many orphans there are never far from our thoughts.  We still keep up on adoption issues there, other families still in process and ministries there.  Dave is taking a sabbatical during the summer of 2014 and we have put in a grant proposal for that.  If we receive the grant (we won't know until late August), we will return to Ethiopia - with all five of the kids!  We want our kids to see where Martha is from and also have an understanding of another part of the world.  If we go, we will do some orphan care, Dave will do some training of church planting pastors and we would also meet our Compassion Child - the boy who we have prayed for and supported for 6 years now - it was through that relationship that we fell in love with Ethiopia.  Who knew God would work in such a way!?  It is so wonderful to reflect on God's working - behind the scenes - in so many ways to stretch and change and bless our family.

This *picture is of Martha one week ago.  She's come so far in this past year - we hope the world is ready!

P.S.  If you want to keep praying for the "Jansen Expansion" please pray that the Grant Proposal is accepted. We would really appreciate your prayers on that!

*Photo courtesy of Ruth Jansen

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Last year on this day, I imagined what Martha's day in Ethiopia was like.....it was her First birthday and I am pretty sure it was a day like any other.  Eating, diaper changes, naps, maybe some decent play time.  Probably no acknowledgement that she had been blessed with a year of life and that her life was worth celebrating.  This year, I am thrilled that we can celebrate her birthday!  We won't have a big celebration - ordering pizza (the girl LOVES pizza) and having cake, lighting TWO candles, and opening presents.  We've been trying to teach her to answer appropriately, when someone asks her "how old are you?" to say "two" and hold up two fingers.  She sort of grasps the concept.  :-)  I am sure the rest of our family is much more excited to celebrate this milestone of life because we just understand it better - she'll just be happy about the pizza, presents and extra attention.

I am so grateful that we can Celebrate Martha Joy's life today.  She is full of sugar, and probably even more spice and healthy and spunky and brings a lot of Joy to our household.  Knowing where she came from, her health and spunk are indeed blessings.  She has grown over 7 inches since she's been here, and her weight is catching up too (she's only in the 30th percentile for weight, but you'd never guess that by looking at her belly!)

This past week marked another milestone for her - the final dose of an antibiotic that she has been taking for NINE months - that is another celebration in this Momma's mind.  When Martha was examined in the International Adoption Clinic here in Columbus, it was found that she had Latent Tuberculosis - which means she had been exposed to TB, but it was not active in her system.  (don't worry if you've been around her - she was exposed to it, but is NOT able to expose it to others - I have the paperwork to prove it, so please don't start worrying.....).  So, we had to give her NINE months of antibiotic at the same time every day, two hours after she had eaten or had anything to drink.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, it's hard to keep a little one's stomach empty for two whole hours especially when she hears anyone in the house open the pantry or refrigerator door!  And, the antibiotic only comes in pill form - so it had to be crushed and given with a small amount of......Ketchup.  Seriously, Ketchup.  Eewwww.  Which meant NINE months of ketchup night-night kisses.  She could have had a bit of yogurt or even chocolate syrup, but after trying those and her not taking the pill, Ketchup worked.   She now has an "official" letter from Children's Hospital stating that she completed this Antibiotic program and has a negative Chest X-Ray, because she will always have a positive TB skin test. We are grateful that this antibiotic program is finished - but also so thankful that this treatment was available for her.  If she were in Ethiopia, she would not have been tested until she was showing active signs of Tuberculosis - and TB is still one of the leading causes of death in Ethiopia.

At the orphanage, mid April 2012

So - today, on her Birthday, we celebrate Martha.  We celebrate that she is in the U.S., where a little white pill can make a difference in her life for many, many years to come.  We celebrate that she is a Jansen today and we can have cake and ice cream and sing to her.  And, most of all, we celebrate that God has a plan for her life and already, His fingerprints are all over her little life!  To God Be the Glory!

2 years old - full of sugar and spice!

Still Amazed

One year ago today will be a day forever stamped in my memory.  It followed a long weekend of waiting on God, praying, seeking, asking questions and trying to come to a decision.  The Friday before we had talked to our Agency about a little girl that was ready to be referred - but she was younger than we had planned on - we just weren't sure we were ready for that.  But, after the weekend of wondering and pondering, we decided that this was the referral we were ready to accept and had total peace about that.  So - on our lunch hours that day, Dave & I rushed home and opened the Referral email from our agency together and this is what we saw.......

We knew as soon as we saw those pictures, that she was ours!  Thankfully, since then, we've been blessed with another picture of her (Thanks Sarah!) from when she was at her first orphanage at a much younger age......and it looks like those eyes have always been so big!  :-)

I am Still Amazed.....

*That she is ours

*That she has adjusted to our family so well and that our other children have all adjusted to her just as well and they seem to love her more than I imagined

*Every time I see her playing with, laughing with, cuddling with, being loved on by her Daddy - this man who wasn't sure he could adopt because he feared he wouldn't love like he loves his bio children.  He can't get enough of this little girl.....he is head over heels in love with her.  I consider this a work of God every time I see it!  And it makes me love David all the more too - because he opened his heart to all of this.

*That we were concerned about changing diapers again and the terrible twos, etc.....sometimes that stuff isn't so fun, but it's back to the basics and that's not so bad.  Especially, when we are also at the same time, looking at college choices, scheduling ACT tests, teaching another child to drive, etc.  Diaper change?  Quick and simple and done.  Basic.  And - it is always wonderful to see life through the amazement and giggles of a little one - simplicity and joy!  Love it!

*That at 43 years old, I am back to being home full time and doing child care.  I certainly didn't see that coming.  But, it has been such a good decision for our whole family and I am enjoying it more than I even thought I would.  I love being with Martha, having the other kiddos here with us during the day and being able to be a bit more available for the older kids.  It has also given me a chance to help Dave a bit more as his ministry is concerned and be more of a helpmate to him.  That was another unexpected blessing!

*That God allowed us to get through the adoption process and how we have learned and grown through it.  It helps me realize how much God really does put all of the puzzle pieces together - even on those days when I thought I'd never make it through.

*That adoption is still so expensive and so complicated.  I understand that the children need to be protected and that there need to be certain policies and procedures in place to protect them.  But, there are millions of children who need homes and many parents willing to offer them - but the process, the costs, the red tape - it all keeps children and families apart. 

*At how much I've come to love the people and country of Ethiopia - somehow it has gotten into my soul.

And, now, the latest picture of that little girl- who one year ago today had no siblings and was considered an orphan......we are so blessed!

Thanks for reading.....we look forward to going out for Ethiopian Friday night to celebrate the Referral Anniversary. We'll take any reason we have to eat Ethiopian!

Sami

Back in July, we asked you to pray for Sami.  Sami is an employee of Adoption Associates in Addis Ababa and was diagnosed with liver cancer. Facilities in Ethiopia were not able to treat him, so he went to India for a couple of months of treatment, leaving his wife and 2 daughters in Ethiopia. At some point in January, Sami started experiencing lots of pain and was struggling more.  He had planned to return to India, but because of a Visa issue not allowing him to get to India until February 5th, he ended up traveling to Bangkok, Thailand for some sort of medical help.  Sadly, this is the update our Agency sent us yesterday -

This morning we received very discouraging news. Sami is really struggling. His CT scan shows his blood is not circulating as it should between his brain & body. He is currently responsive and understands the gravity of his condition. His family decided to have him come home as soon as possible and right now it is planned that he will fly home on Sunday night. 

We ask for your continued prayers for Sami. Please pray for Sami's physical needs, but, more importantly, his spiritual needs. Please also pray for Sami's wife and two daughters.Thank you so much for caring for this man who has touched many lives and is so dear to those who know him. We will keep you updated. 

We are so sad.  Obviously, you've met plenty of people in your life - some that made an impression and some that did not.  Sami was one of those who made a deep impression on our hearts.  His kind heart was apparent within minutes of meeting him.  We spent time with him on two occasions in Ethiopia.  One was the evening when he took us to a local restaurant for dinner and cultural dancing.  His company was so comfortable and he even showed us how well he could dance.  As we shared the meal together, he showed us pictures of his beautiful daughters and you could see how deeply he loved them through his expressions and words.  The other time was when he took us to Court (Court dates and documents for the adoptions were his specialty in the AAI office - he seemed to be the expert around there!).  We were nervous, apprehensive and a bundle of emotions.  Sami was so calm and confident and made us feel like it would all be okay.  His sweet smile and quiet confidence put us at ease.  He walked through the complexities of that day with us and rejoiced with us when it was done.  Undoubtedly, he has walked with countless other families through their court hearings and has helped countless children find their forever homes.   He gets it - children need homes and love and care - and he does what he can to make sure that happens.

So - will you continue to pray for Sami, his wife and 2 little girls?  As our agency wrote, this seems to be a very serious situation.  I can't even imagine what his wife is experiencing - having her husband out of the country with a serious illness, facing the possibility of losing him, the emotional and financial strains ahead - and so much more.  And his little girls - well, it just makes my heart hurt.

As God's timing is always right, the Ethiopia Team from our Agency is leaving for Ethiopia next week, a trip that was previously planned.  I believe God had that planned so that they could be of some encouragement and help to Sami and his family, and to somehow express to them how many lives have been touched and how many people are grateful for Sami's service.

And, say what you will about America.  Our health care system is pretty messed up - sometimes we wait for a long time in the doctor's office or ER, sometimes it takes a month or more to see a specialist - but we don't have to leave the Country to be able to get medical care or change plans because we don't have the right travel Visa.  We also complain about social security, paying in for life insurance, etc - but at least we have some options.  In Ethiopia - I don't know if there are any programs in place like that.

So - PRAY and PRAISE - we are so blessed.  Again, I am humbled by that and need to remember that more often.