A Heavy Brick

On our first trip to Ethiopia, there was a little boy in Martha's room that absolutely stole our hearts.  Some of you have even heard us talk about him. How cute he was, the oodles of personality he had and the sad fact that he didn't even have an official name.  All of the other kids in Martha's room were designated (had a family coming soon) but this little guy didn't at that point.  We were sure that when we returned for our second trip last summer he would be placed and have a plan to go somewhere.

But, on that second trip, we asked the orphanage staff if he had a family yet.  He didn't.  We didn't understand and gave him extra attention while we were there. He loved the extra time and attention.  He loved Martha - helping her where needed and giving her lots of kisses when we left with her.

This little boy stayed in our hearts and we inquired about him through our agency. (Yes - we know you're thinking we're crazy, and we probably are - but you don't know the power of connection and attachment and the way a child can get under your skin.  We dare you to open yourself to it - it's a frightening, exhilarating God sized ride).  They checked and were told that at that time he was not adoptable.  It was a very confusing answer, but we took it for what it seemed to be - the answer for us and for him.

Fast forward to this past Winter, when staff from our Agency went to Ethiopia.  The little guy was still there.  Agency staff realized it was the same boy and took a picture and sent it to us.  Our hearts.  Oh My. Agency staff felt deeply that this little guy needed a family.  Would we be interested still?  Head = we are crazy.  Heart = who knows what God is up to?  Answer = our Agency was told that he remains not adoptable

Neither we, nor our Agency understand this.  We have a little more information about him (that we don't want to share here)  but none of it explains why he is not available for a home and family.  What does this mean?  Most likely, that he will eventually age out and be on his own - most likely fending his way in the streets.  There doesn't seem to be any other plan or at least answers given for him.

Where does this leave us?  Confused.  Deeply confused.  We wrestled with all of this for a while and found we couldn't forget about him.  We decided, that as a couple, we would commit to 40 days of defined prayer for this little boy.  For his emotional and physical health, his protection, his future, that he would come to know Jesus.  That the plan God has for him would be known and that it would somehow include the unconditional love of a family - somewhere.  Anywhere.  We are praying about whether or not we should pay and have an investigation done to find out his story - which would then hopefully give him more of a future. Praying. Praying. Praying again.

Yesterday, at day 31, I was driving one of the kids somewhere, not really even thinking about this little guy. And, suddenly, I had this feeling on my chest - like someone was pushing a heavy brick on it.  I don't know how to describe it, but it was actually physically heavy somehow. It was powerful.  It was strong and deliberate. And, all I could see was the face of this boy.  And, then the tears started and I couldn't stop them.  I was so overwhelmed by this "outside" pressure upon me, I pulled over and called Dave.  We both prayed heavily for this boy.  We didn't know if he was suddenly in danger or had some wonderful happen to him, but we knew that we needed to pray - and PRAY BIG.  I have no way to describe what happened yesterday as anything but a God Thing, a Holy Spirit thing.  That there is still some reason why this boy captured our hearts - even if it is only to have someone praying for him.

Why do I share all this?  Because I believe in prayer and its power.  I believe it's time to share this and ask YOU to pray for him too.  I can't give you a name to pray for - because he doesn't really have one.  But, God knows who he is and will hear you knocking on heaven's door.  Please join us in that.  Please PRAY BIG for him and the millions of other children around the world who need someone to pray for them.  God is listening.  Thank You~

HOME one year!!

One year ago today, we got off a plane in Columbus, Ohio and tried not to run through the airport.  We were so eager to see family members there waiting for us and so eager for them to meet Martha!

It just doesn't seem possible that it is a full year later.  God has been so faithful to us. Dave & I have been going through day by day of our 2nd trip to Ethiopia this past week.  The memories are still very clear - sort of like our delivery room/first days in the hospital with the other kids.  Picking her up at the orphanage, the coffee ceremony with the staff there to say good-bye, the ride to the hotel when she feel asleep........all of it amazing.

 Martha rolled with everything those first days and now we are the ones who try to roll with her, or at least keep up with her!  She is smart, mischievous, busy, fast and very adventurous.  She loves all of her siblings and is always happy to see them when they get home.  She has learned the art of putting off her bedtime by saying "cuddle" every time we try to put her down to sleep.  I think we still feel like we missed all those cuddles of that first year of her life, so we often grant her wish and give her a few more minutes of "cuddle".  All of our worries about having a much younger child around the house quickly gave way and we are again used to toys all over the floor and diaper changes.  It has all felt very natural.  Martha has grown about 7 inches since she came home and went from having no teeth to now having 13 of them.  She still continues in speech therapy, but is making continued progress.  She is a pretty good eater and loves to drink her milk.  She shows some healthy attachment to us and we are deeply grateful for that.

We know that Martha may still have difficult days ahead.  We know that any child of adoption can have identity issues, later attachment issues, etc- some of those in the early days of elementary, some in those teenage years, and some even later.  We pray that if those issues do surface, that they are minor for her - and for now, we just keep praising God and asking for Him to bless her and prepare her for whatever comes  in her life.

Ethiopia still burns in our hearts - and the many orphans there are never far from our thoughts.  We still keep up on adoption issues there, other families still in process and ministries there.  Dave is taking a sabbatical during the summer of 2014 and we have put in a grant proposal for that.  If we receive the grant (we won't know until late August), we will return to Ethiopia - with all five of the kids!  We want our kids to see where Martha is from and also have an understanding of another part of the world.  If we go, we will do some orphan care, Dave will do some training of church planting pastors and we would also meet our Compassion Child - the boy who we have prayed for and supported for 6 years now - it was through that relationship that we fell in love with Ethiopia.  Who knew God would work in such a way!?  It is so wonderful to reflect on God's working - behind the scenes - in so many ways to stretch and change and bless our family.

This *picture is of Martha one week ago.  She's come so far in this past year - we hope the world is ready!

P.S.  If you want to keep praying for the "Jansen Expansion" please pray that the Grant Proposal is accepted. We would really appreciate your prayers on that!

*Photo courtesy of Ruth Jansen