Stressed and Blessed

As we are down to single digits before we leave for Ethiopia....my stress level is off the charts!  I'm a pretty detail oriented, organized person, so I am making list upon list, pile upon pile and my brain is in total overdrive (so much so, that I am having trouble sleeping....a rare thing for me. And, certainly doesn't help anything at all).  Dave is also trying to pre-plan and prepare as much as possible from the work/church end.  So - you can imagine neither of us are feeling the calmest of spirits.

I am trying to cover every detail imaginable on the US side....finances for adoption and day to day life here while we're gone, food, plans for the kids, sanity for my sister as she stays here, and just about anything I can possibly think of.  It's a lot.

Then, there's the Ethiopia side.  Making sure we have a place to stay and transportation.  Hoping to see a Young Life Camp and also some special friends while we're there (because when you travel that far, you need to pack it all in), and then there's our son.  Meeting him for the first time, spending time with him, seeing his world.  And, the main reason for it all....trying to get him HOME.  This will involve a lot of waiting, praying, talking and probably more waiting.  That's hard, this hurry up and wait stuff.  More than hard sometime, it's heart wrenching.  And, then (probably because I'm tired) my brain jumps to all the "what if's"......what if this trip doesn't help at all?  What if his case just gets pushed aside....for months? What if we have to stay and run out of finances to get all 3 of us home?  What if something happens back at home?  What if? What if? WHAT IF?

And, then I try to calm myself down with some deep breaths, wipe away some tears and listen to that voice that is trying to break through....."TRUST ME.  My plans are better than yours.  They are BEST."  And, then I put out a call for help with some meals for the kids while we're gone.....and the response is overwhelming.  And, then we receive another baked good donation for the bake sale.  And, then someone I just met tells me she has been praying for our family this past week.

So, instead of "What if?" my phrase needs to change to "And, then"

"And, then" because I know that I can trust my Lord Jesus, my Savior.  I know He holds my future and my family in His hands, not my own.  "And, then" because God is writing this story of ours and He has plans that I can't even see.  "And, then" because I'm going to re-tell this story in the future by saying "And, then, God did this....and this.....and this."

I'm crazy stressed out, so why am I taking the time to blog?  Because it just forced me to sit down, refocus, slow down and remember "And, then".

God is good.  All the time.