Operation Christmas Child

I don't know if you've ever heard of Operation Christmas Child. Our family has enjoyed participating for years. It's a pretty simple concept - fill a shoebox with some toys, personal/hygiene items, maybe some candy, put in a little bit of money for shipping costs and close it up. Sound simple, doesn't it? So simple, yet so profound. A simple shoebox can change a life forever!

As I continue to learn more about orphans around the world, my heart hurts more and more for them, and I am more and more grateful for Operation Christmas Child. They deliver millions of these boxes around the world to Children who would not have any other celebration of Jesus Birthday, if it weren't for these boxes.

So - here's my challenge to you. Can you fill up a shoebox? Or maybe more than just one? Can you take time out of your busy life for a child on the other side of the world who will only know the joy of Christmas if you take the time to fill up a box? Please consider filling up a shoebox. I know that we are all very, very busy. But, so much of our busyness is just "stuff" and "fluff". A simple shoebox can make such a difference in the life of a child - how cool is that?

Better yet - fill up a shoebox in honor of the Jansen child(ren) from Ethiopia that will someday have a forever home with us.....that would mean so much!

Here's a link to tell you more and gives you specific directions: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/

You can also find out where to drop off your Shoebox from the drop down list at this link, or if you live in Lewis Center, CenterPoint Church will be collecting shoeboxes from Nov 13 - 20. If you get a shoebox to me, I will gladly get it to the right place.

Thank you for making a BIG difference in the life of a child!

Vicki

Learnings and Yearnings

Recent Learnings.....

*Meals Matter - for two reasons:

1) A couple of people brought us meals soon after our adoption situation changed. These were especially treasured because my brain just wasn't fully working in that first week or so. It was enough for a bit to just put one foot in front of the other as we dealt with the grief and the shock. To have one less thing to think about made such a difference to me! To be able to come home from work and know that supper was taken care of was such a blessing to me! (Thanks to those who helped in this area!!) Blog readers - don't ever underestimate the power of a meal to those dealing with "life stuff". The next time you know someone is struggling - make them a meal, or at least order pizza for them. You will indeed be blessing them.

2) Dave & I have always put family supper together as a big value in our home.....we have a busy household, but work very hard at making sure we eat supper together as much as possible each week. These past couple of weeks that has been even more important. To have all six of us sit around the table and talk and share and just be together has been very important as we heal together. It has reminded us of how very blessed we are!

*Little Kindnesses go a long way

My co-workers (Laura, Kim & Jane) are awesome! I am so privileged to be able to work with them! Unknown to me, they had been planning some fundraising efforts for the Jansen Expansion, before our recent adoption change. With our "blessing" they continued these efforts. They got permission from the Olentangy Preschool supervisors and certain Olentangy Principals to make each Monday from October 17th until Christmas Break "Jeans for Jansen Expansion" for the Arrowhead Elementary Building and all employees of the Olentangy Preschool Program. Any employees who want to wear Jeans to work those Mondays may do so, but must contribute to our Adoption Fund to "pay" for the jeans. It may seem like a small thing - but do you know how much teachers like to wear jeans and usually can't? YES - they will pay to do so! This was a wonderful shot of hope for us and the continuation of our Adoption process.

*My husband has a wonderful Daddy heart

I've always known that my husband had a wonderful Daddy heart - but recently, I have seen a new depth and love to that heart, that just continues to grow deeper. If you had told Dave five years ago, that he would be impatiently waiting to adopt, he would have laughed you off. But, Dave opened his heart to do what God wanted him to do and has allowed God to work in his heart, deepening his love and desire to care for the orphans of this world. His heart has hurt deeply this past two weeks or so and his eagerness to bring our child(ren) home has increased all the more. Through our recent heartbreak and the many tears he continues to watch me cry, I have fallen even more in love with him and am glad that he is my partner in parenthood and in life!

Continued Yearnings......

*I am tired of waiting

I don't want to wait for another referral, I don't want to go back to our "status" that we were so excited to be at last January. I want to stomp my feet and cry and fuss and fume. I don't want to wait. I am frustrated that in a country of 6 million orphans we must wait - AGAIN. I am grateful we are at "the top" of the list for our age range for our next referral, but I would like the referral now please and I want to travel immediately and I want to bring our family member(s) home this week. Sounds childish and selfish and self-centered - but at some points of the day during this process, it is just what I feel. Part of the reason we started this blog was to keep people informed and to be honest about this whole journey......and sometimes this journey is just so hard. I am tired of waiting. I want it over and I want them home now.

Thanks for reading~

Vicki

Will they or Won't they?

Will they or won't they?

Will they or won't they? YES they will!
We have felt since the beginning of this whole process that we have been called to adopt. Dave has explained it to be as strong as His call to ministry and church planting. So, yes, we will continue to pursue an adoption from Ethiopia......and as much as recent events have broken our hearts, we are giving it back to God.

A few days before we received the call about the birth mother's change of heart, Vicki had sent an online devotional she receives to a friend who was trying to surrender some parts of her life to God. Little did Vicki know that she herself would go back to that devotional numerous times as we've been trying to come to terms with our new adoption situation. Here are some excerpts:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

So I have a choice to make. Will I believe that God's plans are better than my own? Will I risk stepping out of my comfort zone? Do I believe the growing pains I'll face will be worth the blessings that will come? Do I trust God to really take care of me? What about you? What changes is God nudging you towards that have you digging in your heels and tightening your grip on whatever you know you need to release? Do you believe the rewards are worth the pain? Or that God's perfect plan is worth leaving your complacency and comfort behind? Do you trust Him? Or are you hiding and hoping He passes you by?

The unknown is scary. But ultimately—for me anyway—it's scarier to think of what I might miss if I don't let go. And so I say a prayer, open my hands, and peer beyond the edge of what I know, into the vast expanse of the future where a giant question mark dominates the landscape. Do you see it, too?Today let's choose to trust God and not require that we like or even understand what He is calling us to do. Let's submit to Him, believing that the path He calls us to take will always be worth the change, worth the risk, worth the effort, simply because He has chosen it for us.

(from Encouragement for Today online Devotional - Alison Strobel)

So - we are starting each day right now choosing to trust God even when we don't always like and definitely don't understand what He is calling us to go through right now. But, we are working at submitting and surrendering to Him, knowing that the path He has for us will ALWAYS be worth it, because it is HIS plan for us, not our plan. This is how we know that WE WILL continue on this journey of adoption - God has called us to it and the path He has called us to will be worth it all.

Again - we are so grateful for the support we have felt. We have sat and counted our blessings many times in the past week. Faith, Family & Friends have made all the difference - Thank you!!

Holding on to Faith

To all of you who have called, texted, emailed or shown support in some way - THANK YOU. We have not had a lot of extra energy to respond right now, but want you to know that every effort shown to us is deeply appreciated. We feel blessed and carried and loved. Thank you. We are still feeling the need to "hunker down" and try to wrap our hearts and minds around all this.

We are holding on to each other and holding on to our faith. Scripture has been carrying us through and we'd like to share some verses that we are holding on to right now.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.....We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ........We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express........."

Romans 8:18 - 27 (words that our son, Jonathan came and read to us Thursday night - what a blessing!)

"My eyes fail from weeping, I am in torment within. My heart is poured out on the ground because my people are destroyed, because children and infants faint in the streets of the city. They say to their mothers, 'Where is the bread and wine?' as they faint like wounded men in the streets of the city, as their lives ebb away in their mothers' arms. "

"Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children who faint from hunger at the head of every street."

"Because of the Lord's GREAT love we are not consumed; his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; GREAT is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him'. "

Lamentations: 2:11 & 12, 2:18 & 19, 3:22-24

"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."

John 16:20-22

Thanks again for your support and encouragement - God is faithful and His mercies are new each day - we are counting on that and know that it is true!

There are no words

There are no words to describe the status of our household tonight. Silence. Tissues. Tears. Grief. Sadness. Anger. Questions. Heartbreak. Confusion. Devastated. Nope - none of those come close. There just aren't words.

Late this afternoon, Dave saw an incoming call from our Adoption Agency. He quickly picked it up, thinking it was the call we've been waiting for - notification of our Court Date. He answered the phone in his friendly way, asking our Social Worker how she was. She stated that she wasn't doing well and had some bad news. Through tears, she explained that she had been notified today that the two children we were waiting to bring home, and already loved more than we can explain, had been taken back into custody by their birthmother. Yes, you read that correctly. And, NO, our agency has never had this happen in their Ethiopia Adoption Program. This is the first time. Ever.

Dave came to school and picked Vicki up and we went to a park so that he could share the news and only God and the nature around us could hear our weeping. We then had to come home and share the news with the current Jansen children. More weeping. More anger. More sorrow. More tears. And so it has continued since then.

We certainly do not understand any of this. It is not easy to surrender a child in Ethiopia. There are many processes to go through and the birthmother had been to court and had witnesses with her to testify that she was destitute, beyond poor, and had no means by which to support these children any more. She testified that she was surrendering them willingly. We've seen all the paperwork, the testimonies, all of it. We do not understand.

If anyone would have told us when we started this process how much you can love a child that you've never met, we would not have fully believed them. The only thing we can even relate it to is a miscarriage (of which we've had two)......but this is a loss with pictures and faces, and medical reports and some life history and Names......names that we have prayed for multiple times a day. Names that were a part of our future as a family. Names that we were assigning beds to and plans to and names that were included in family discussions on a regular basis. Please be patient with us as we navigate this new road and please understand that you may not understand how much it hurts.

For now, we need some time to grieve and deal with this heartache. We need your prayers for all of us - it is hard enough to have this heartache ourselves, but we are watching our kids struggle with this heartache. It hurts deeply.

What we do know:

*God is smarter than we are and He must have a plan for those 2 beautiful kids and for our family's future.

*God is faithful and will heal our hearts.

*God is in control.

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
I will gather you and your children from east and west.
I will say to the north and south,
‘Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel
from the distant corners of the earth.
Bring all who claim me as their God,
for I have made them for my glory.
It was I who created them.’”

Isaiah 43:1-7

Dave & Vicki