There are no words

There are no words to describe the status of our household tonight. Silence. Tissues. Tears. Grief. Sadness. Anger. Questions. Heartbreak. Confusion. Devastated. Nope - none of those come close. There just aren't words.

Late this afternoon, Dave saw an incoming call from our Adoption Agency. He quickly picked it up, thinking it was the call we've been waiting for - notification of our Court Date. He answered the phone in his friendly way, asking our Social Worker how she was. She stated that she wasn't doing well and had some bad news. Through tears, she explained that she had been notified today that the two children we were waiting to bring home, and already loved more than we can explain, had been taken back into custody by their birthmother. Yes, you read that correctly. And, NO, our agency has never had this happen in their Ethiopia Adoption Program. This is the first time. Ever.

Dave came to school and picked Vicki up and we went to a park so that he could share the news and only God and the nature around us could hear our weeping. We then had to come home and share the news with the current Jansen children. More weeping. More anger. More sorrow. More tears. And so it has continued since then.

We certainly do not understand any of this. It is not easy to surrender a child in Ethiopia. There are many processes to go through and the birthmother had been to court and had witnesses with her to testify that she was destitute, beyond poor, and had no means by which to support these children any more. She testified that she was surrendering them willingly. We've seen all the paperwork, the testimonies, all of it. We do not understand.

If anyone would have told us when we started this process how much you can love a child that you've never met, we would not have fully believed them. The only thing we can even relate it to is a miscarriage (of which we've had two)......but this is a loss with pictures and faces, and medical reports and some life history and Names......names that we have prayed for multiple times a day. Names that were a part of our future as a family. Names that we were assigning beds to and plans to and names that were included in family discussions on a regular basis. Please be patient with us as we navigate this new road and please understand that you may not understand how much it hurts.

For now, we need some time to grieve and deal with this heartache. We need your prayers for all of us - it is hard enough to have this heartache ourselves, but we are watching our kids struggle with this heartache. It hurts deeply.

What we do know:

*God is smarter than we are and He must have a plan for those 2 beautiful kids and for our family's future.

*God is faithful and will heal our hearts.

*God is in control.

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
I will gather you and your children from east and west.
I will say to the north and south,
‘Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel
from the distant corners of the earth.
Bring all who claim me as their God,
for I have made them for my glory.
It was I who created them.’”

Isaiah 43:1-7

Dave & Vicki

Learning the A B C's....

As we continue this process of waiting, we seem to be talking and trying to learn more about the A B C's of adoption.....

A is for ATTACHMENT - The deep and enduring connection established between a child and their main caregivers, especially dealing with affection
B is for BONDING - The process of developing lasting emotional ties with immediate caregivers, especially dealing with trust
C is for COCOONING - The initial process in the beginning of bringing an adoptive child home and limiting outside interactions beyond the immediate family, so that the adopted child(ren) can try to attach and bond and be immersed in the dynamics of their new family unit

When we do eventually bring our new children home, we will be working very hard at these ABC's.....so please understand that we may need to say "no" to some invitations and not participate in all the activities or usual commitments we are able to do now.  Our priority will be to make our children feel safe and let them know that we are committed to them, that they can trust us and that we are their family.  There could be some rough days as the attachment and bonding process takes place over time.....please be patient with us, as we navigate this new road we've never traveled and please pray that this process takes hold quickly, deeply and with great joy, trust and affection.

As far as when this process will begin....we are still waiting to hear from The Ethiopian Court system about our Court Date.....and then will set the travel dates for our FIRST trip to Ethiopia.  We are trying to be patient and still pray that this first trip will take place before the end of 2011.  We'd appreciate your prayers for that too!  We appreciate your prayers for both of our kids - for their health, protection and preparation for becoming a Jansen and this whole new world they will be entering.

We remain grateful for your prayers and support~

Dave & Vic + 6

$5.00 each at Meijer's this week - just couldn't resist - the first clothes we've bought for the new kids!  :-)

What's next?

So, now that we have our referral, what's next?  We wait for our Court date.  Our papers were submitted to the Court in Ethiopia's capital, of Addis Ababa, 2 weeks ago.  Once we receive our Court date, we will make plans to travel and go through the Adoption process in Ethiopian Court.  We are looking over our travel information and the many, many details that are included - so much yet to do and more paperwork to take care of again!

Months ago, when we were planning on adopting one child, we thought that our fundraising days might be over.  Now that God has called us to adopt these two wonderful kids, those monies set aside for travel have been absorbed into other fees.  So - please mark your calendar for a "Family Movie Night" fund raiser on Friday, October 7th and join us for a great night together and help us bring both our kiddos home!

This Labor Day weekend, we spent a lot of time brainstorming ideas on how to make our home ready for 6 children.  At this point, none of the changes will be major or structural, but some adjusting around the house will take place.  Because this adoption will "take a village", we'd ask you to see if any friends, family or neighbors might be able to help us out with some gently used items:  2 twin beds/mattresses, 2 dressers (matching), wooden kitchen chairs, and a strong Futon frame.  Please contact us if you have any leads.

Please pray that we might be able to have our Court date complete by the end of 2011.  Please pray too - we are all getting a little concerned knowing that the Holidays will be here before we know it......the Jansen kids in the U.S. would really like their parents home for the upcoming Holidays and we would like that too!  Thank You for your prayers and for taking the time to read our blog - your support means more than we can express!

Save the Date

Please mark your Calendars for our next Fund Raiser - on Friday, October 7th. More details to come.....thanks for your support!

Until then -don't forget how good the "Just Love Coffee" is (top right of the blog). :-)

We got our referral!!

Well, the day finally arrived! Not exactly how we planned.....we always thought that we would receive our referral call and be given all the information in one well placed conversation. But, of course, this whole adoption is out of our hands......

In mid July, on a Saturday afternoon, our Social Worker emailed us - a sibling group had come through which had 2 children within our age requests. She stated that she knew we had always said that we were ready to adopt one - but for some reason, she felt these children were worth mentioning to us. She wondered if we would at all be interested in considering TWO children. Wow. Vicki quickly contacted Dave (who was at Joshua's baseball game) and told him about the email - his response was "yes". We continued to spend the day quietly talking and praying and agreed to sleep on it. On Sunday, we got together with trusted friends to get their insights (we wanted to see if this was a "crazy God thing" or just "plain crazy"). Then we presented this possibility to all four of the current Jansen kids and all four of them agreed that this was what we should do. We shared possible changes that it would bring, sacrifices, as many unknowns as we could imagine - and they remained strong in believing that this is what we should do (we must tell you how very PROUD we are of each of them!!). So, that Monday we told our Agency that we wanted to pursue the adoption of these two kiddos and we had an addendum put on our Home Study to change it to be for TWO children.

Since then we were sent pictures, birth certificates, medical exam results, and an adoption profile. Usually, all of these items are provided when an Official Referral is given - because this situation was a little different, it all came to us a little bit at a time. But, this past Friday, the final bit of information came through to officially declare that WE HAVE A REFERRAL!!

And, we have accepted this referral of TWO beautiful children.....one handsome little boy who is almost 6 years old and a beautiful little girl who is 3 years old. We love them already - they are children of our hearts and even more importantly, they are children of God's heart.

(Due to international adoption laws, we can not share pictures or names via the Web).

Please join us in rejoicing in this wonderful news!

Please pray for their safety, nutritional needs, emotional health and that their hearts, minds and bodies are being prepared for all that will be happening during this adoption journey.

Please pray for our current household as we try to prepare for travel, physical and emotional changes in our home, the finances needed to cover adoption costs (at least $8000.00 higher due to another child) decisions about bathrooms, bedrooms, vehicles (we don't have one that seats 8!) and for all of us to be as prepared as possible for the changes ahead. We are so excited, but we know that this could be a long journey full of bumps and curves in the road.

Our Crazy Big prayer is that we might ALL be able to be Home in America to celebrate Christmas together - would you add that to your prayer list too? PRAY BIG!

"To the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen."

Jude 25

With much joy,

The Jansen Family~

Hunger Crisis in Africa

Dear Friends,

Please remember in prayer all those in the Horn of Africa, currently affected by the Hunger Crisis there. The situation right now if not "officially" a famine, but people are increasingly experiencing malnourishment and starvation, and it is expected to increase. Pray for those families who have to make difficult decisions - how to feed their children, their livestock, find food and water, etc.

And then, walk to your cupboards and try to decide what to snack on between the many choices you have today......walk to the kitchen sink and get yourself a fresh, cold cup of water......and realize just how very blessed we are.

God is good.